Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
