i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
