He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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