omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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