I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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