You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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