did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
