We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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