just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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