I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
