i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
