I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
