..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
