Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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