Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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