Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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