Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
