when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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