It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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