he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
