need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
