Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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