Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
