Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
