ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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