i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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