i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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