Nicole vs. Life
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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