I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
