operation have a gay friend backfired
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Watching her eat just hurts me
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
