yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
