update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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