Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
