you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
