I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
