So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
