they said they heard you say put it in my butt
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
