Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
