i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
