everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
