I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
