another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
