So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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