she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
