hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
