Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
