I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
