do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
