first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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