im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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