Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
